Ways To Help Others As A Technique For Self-Care.
Self-Care is about taking care of our needs to reduce stress and increase our resiliency in the face of adversity. Ways to improve your personal care immediately come to mind, such as exercising, eating a healthy, balanced diet, and improving personal relationships. But what about caring for others? I don’t mean caring as the 24/7 caregiver of a child, parent, or another individual, which can be very stressful and time-consuming and may be all you have to give of yourself. However, if you have some free time, I’m referring to good old-fashioned “do for your neighbor” care. A CNN interview with Jamil Zaki, an associate professor of psychology at Stanford University, discusses the idea that helping others is a meaningful way to build empathy, decrease stress and increase happiness. Focusing on others’ needs improves awareness of our priorities and sense of community. Having strong connections in our community may even assist in combating loneliness.
How do we care for others in a way that increases our own sense of well-being without raising our stress levels?
Caring for others doesn’t have to be a colossal gesture, such as organizing a month-long toy drive at Christmas, although if you have that kind of time, it would be amazing! It can be a simple gesture such as a call or text to a friend or even taking time to play with our furry friends. Here are some other suggestions to help you think of enjoyable ways to care for others that will, in turn, light you up:
Visit Someone At Risk For Being Lonely
Do you have an elderly neighbor that lives far from their children? Is there someone in your life that is homebound due to illness or a disability? I worked in the healthcare world for almost 20 years, including nursing homes and home health care and can tell you one of the most devastating things I saw wasn’t necessarily the injuries but the isolation that people felt. Visiting a neighbor or nursing home for a short time, just once a week can hugely impact another’s spirit. And it may affect you too. Think of all the fascinating stories you might hear. I’ve listened to some incredible and mind-blowing stories while working with these individuals. I met someone who had interviewed Elvis, another person who was good friends with Coretta Scott King, and another person that escaped a POW camp in Laos during the Vietnam War. Some of the most fascinating people I’ve met are those who society has forgotten.
Do Something “Small” All Day
It may seem commonplace to give a compliment, smile at everyone you meet, or hold a door open for someone, but we all get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and may forget these small gestures. However, you never know the impact a tiny action may have on someone having a bad day. Not too long ago, I was out for a drink with a friend and a young woman looked me in the eye and told me she really liked my hair. It was during a week I was struggling a little and that little simple and sincere compliment really helped lift my mood. Pick one or two small everyday deeds and make a conscious effort to go through the day completing these simple tasks for others.
Help Someone Financially
As I said before, it doesn’t have to be something huge. Most of us are not financially able to donate a wing to a hospital. But what if you paid for someone’s coffee behind you or tipped your server 40% instead of 20%? Contributing to a charity you feel connected to is another fabulous way to help. Most of us can think of at least one person in our lives with financial difficulties, but we may not like to mix family/friends and finances by directly lending money. Instead, consider buying a gift card and sending it to them anonymously. They get a little monetary relief and you still get the feel-good vibes.
Cook For Someone Else
Do you enjoy cooking? Or do you perhaps cook out of necessity but do it for an army and always end up with loads of leftovers? Bring some of those leftovers to an elderly neighbor, a new mom or even a super busy friend. Making a sandwich for lunch? Have you ever forgotten to take your lunch to work? Take a couple of minutes to make a second one and leave it in the refrigerator at work with a note alerting someone to help themselves. After my mom passed, to help my dad combat loneliness and feel a sense of purpose, we got together on Sundays and cooked several meals to drop off to a local charity feeding homeless individuals. He even volunteered a few times, standing in the rain and cold to hand out the food. My dad loved the feel-good experiences of giving to others.
Create Care Packages
There are many directions this can take and it's something you can easily do with your family. For example, my friend once asked for care packages for a fellow soldier going through a rough time during her birthday while stationed in Iran. So, several of us got together and sent her items from “home.” This article offers a list of military causes where you can donate packages. Other ways to create care packages include putting a few bags of items together and leaving them in your car to hand out when you see homeless individuals or providing a basket of care items, such as soup and reading materials, for a sick friend. You can even put together treats and toys for our furry friends living in animal shelters.
Complete A Chore For Someone
Once again, the sky’s the limit here as tons of chores always need to be done in all households. You could do something as simple as cleaning the dishes for your family or taking a neighbor’s garbage cans back after the trash was picked up. You could offer grocery shopping or clean for a sick or busy friend or neighbor. Mow someone’s lawn or shovel their sidewalk. Offer to water the plants or feed pets for someone going out of town. Again, we all have tons of things that need to be completed during the week and wouldn’t it be wonderful to know you can rely on family, friends, or neighbors in times of need?
Listen
It seems so simple, doesn’t it? We live in a fast-paced society and are seemingly always busy and on the go. And with the rise of technology, we have more things to distract us every day. It’s a perfect storm to forget to really listen when others are speaking. Make an effort to pick up a phone and reach out to a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in a while. Put down your device during your meal and have a conversation with whoever you’re dining with and pay attention to what they are saying. It’s very easy to check out but forming real lasting connections requires a little effort, and that can be simply focused listening while with others.
Helping others as a method of self-care certainly doesn’t have to be full of grand gestures and may even be more aligned with self-care when it’s the small everyday ways to reach out and show you care. But, of course, there are times in our lives when we certainly need more than we can give and those are perfect times to sit back and focus on other self-care methods. But, if you’re feeling good or perhaps a little lonely and want to try something different to raise those vibes and form connections, reach out and make someone’s day.